The Beginning

2004-07-08T17:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry

That apology goes out to my many devoted fans. I don't even know where to begin, so I'm going to jump around with my thoughts, mainly because my mind is about as focused as a cross-eyed cat. The first thought that pops into my head is regarding my attempts to see No Doubt in concert. Several months back, I bought 4 tickets to see No Doubt with 3 friends (makes sense, right?). They were playing with Blink 182 in San Bernaghetto at the Hyundai Pavillion. And while we left later than I had originally wanted (not bitter), we still left with plenty of time to see both bands - or so we thought. The drive there wound up taking us an excruciating 4 1/2 hours - with 8 miles of the trip comprising the last 3 hours. Ugh. We missed the entire fucking concert. Was I venomous? TOTALLY. Were my friends providing any solace? Not a fucking ounce. I stewed all the way home (a mere hour drive). However, the next day I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the Pavillion was not only offering refunds, but they were also offering complimentary tickets to Incubus. So, in the end, I sorta lucked out. But, I missed No Doubt, you say. Au contraire! I wound up getting tickets to their last-minute, secret-ninja show at Universal Amphitheatre...a much more pleasant and manageable drive. Needless to say, I was a happy camper.

Next topic, the art of DAD.

2004-04-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

Floki

Have you ever had one of those weekends where the only calories you consume seem to come from alcohol? Well, that's what this particular weekend turned into...one long binge.

I was homeless. Literally. I had to move out of my apartment by noon on Saturday. Unfortunately, the townhouse we were moving into wasn't going to be ready for another two weeks. So I packed up my 82 Camaro (to the gills) and I drove over to my Poods's place. Of course, in my haste, I had left the Febreeze bottle on top of my car, and had some drunk frat boy yell out to me as I cruised down the street. Yeah, I'm an ass. I got to my Poods' place around 12:30. It was hotter than hell that day, and everyone was out of town. Our friend, Bertie, was working til later that afternoon, and Poods was actually going to drive to OU later that evening. But in the meantime, we had some drinking to do. The football game was starting soon, so we walked up to the Bear and bought a few cases of beer, then called for some Papa John's to be delivered. By the time Bertie got there, I think we had drank a case. Then Bertie joined us. Here's where the order of events get a little hazy...

We drank, we went to a bar, our friend Chicken Head (CH) came over (with a few more cases in hand), we drank some more, we played Beyond Balderdash, we drank some more, we sat out on the patio and drank some more, we ate Chips made with that Olestra shit, we drank more, Poods drove to OU (not sure WHEN that happened, exactly, but I do know she drove there and managed to drive back in time for all of the above activities...this is really the reason I think she's a goddess, because she appeared to be in two places at once - or maybe it was just my double vision), we woke up the next morning and recited to rules of Floki Rafna (it's the day the marshmallow was invented, and thus has it's own holiday dedicated to it), then we went to Bob Evans.

So, between the pizza and Bob Evans, the only nutrients we had came from Miller and Bud Light, and then those Olestra chips...and everyone knows that those give you the shits, so it doesn't really count anyway. Even with all that craziness, it was the BEST Floki Rafna celebration EVER!

SC Rules!

2004-04-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

Bezoar

Lemme tell you what a true friend my Poods is. One lovely evening, we were all partying over at a friend's place. His place was small, but it had a nice porch on the second floor overlooking the main street near campus. It was a prime location - you could people watch and stumble to and from the bars. There were two problems with this particular evening. First of all, I had really bad cramps - what we called a "bezoar"*. And secondly, our friend's bathroom had no door. (I'm sure you can see how this could be an issue).

Anyhow, I wasn't feeling great, and wasn't much for partying, and my Poods noticed. She asked what was wrong, and I told her I had a bezoar. She asked if I had tried farting. I hadn't, so she said,"Let's go outside and try." We stood out on the porch about 10 feet apart, overlooking the people on the street. We sat there and talked for a few minutes, and then silence fall upon us. My Poods broke the silence. "Anything?" she asked. "Nope, not yet", I replied. "Keep trying!" and so we sat out there a bit longer while I tried to squeeze out a fart.

I wound up driving home and evacuating the bezoar. But the important thing to take from this story is the fact that my Poods was MORE than willing to stand with me out in the cold while I tried to force a fart out! How many of your friends would be game for that???

* Just to clarify the whole bezoar thing. A bezoar is a gallstone in the stomach of a hedgehog. Or at least, that's what it is in our minds. Thus, it became a synonym for gas, stomach trouble, etc.

2004-04-28T23:13:00.000-07:00

Binty

We were supposed to meet in Toronto - a rendez-vous, of sorts. From there, we were jetsetting to Munich, before driving to Switzerland. It was to be an all-star vacation. Me and my Poods. But it was in Toronto that the mayhem began...

First of all, my Poods somehow was herded off by the Canadien airport nazis, and we missed our meeting point. So while she was whisked off to another terminal, I waited dutifully for her arrival. While exiting the shuttle bus, my Poods gashed the back of her foot, and started bleeding all over everything. So while I waited for her to deboard the plane (or so I thought), she was waiting (and bleeding) in the departure terminal. Time was running out on us, so I decided that I should just go to the departure terminal. If nothing else, at least I would make it to Europe. But, sure as shit, she was waiting for me when I got there...

That was the first time we had seen each other in months, and so we took full advantage of the flight over there - Mad Libs, making fun of others (duh!), and discussing all the fun that we were going to have in Europe. Needless to say, I'm going to sum up the Europe trip with some key terms...

Erdinger
The shelf
DADing
Mashed Potatoes
Paprika Chips
Malteasers
Mierta (sp?)
Binty
Gellatto
Schutz
Nail Game
Bashing Your Head with a Rock

Oh, the memories...

2004-04-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

Poods

So my BFF-OH, Poods, just told me that she is obsessed with the new Hanson song. I thought Hanson was dead. Or maybe that was just a dream I had. In any case, apparently they've completely gone through puberty, and blessed us with another memorable song. For fuck's sake...

Lemme give you a lil background on my Poods. First and foremost, she misses me so much, I think she cries at night. The first time I met her, she thought I was an axe-wielding psychopath. Then she realized that I didn't have an axe, I was just psycho. So, she hopped into the "blue bomber" (my car) and we sped two blocks to her brother's house where we would drink, laugh, and form an unbreakable bond...

Thus, in honor of my Poods, I'm going to be recounting some memorable moments through our history. She's fucking hilarious (like me), she's fucking gorgeous (like me), and all in all, she's just better than most (like me). You'll soon see why we get along...

2004-04-26T13:36:00.000-07:00

Burnt

So, I got burnt. Fried, if you will. Yes, I'm talking about a sunburn. And yes, I'm talking about being just so over something, that you'd rather watch a Ricki Lake marathon (or maybe watch Ricki Lake run a marathon...) than do that certain thing. As I'm sitting here writing this, I'm so F-ing apathetic, that I figure that this will probably be the lamest load of crap ever to hit the computer screen. But do you think I care? Not a bit...

School, stress, work, stress, friends, stress, enemies, stress, money, stress, social life, stress...it's such a fun balance as of late. Just when I think I've got things under control and running smoothly, something else pops up to throw my seemingly perfect world into total disarray. But if there's one thing that my BFF "the bry" has taught me, it's that sometimes, you just gotta roll with the punches. Or wait, did JoDee teach me that? Maybe it was a joint effort by the two of them, but you get the idea. Deal with it. That's what I'm trying to do - not take everything so seriously, and maybe not expect too much. Do what I can with what is before me, and not stress out about those things that are out of my control. Try to find the harmonious blend of productivity, pleasure and restoration (anyone puking yet?). With all of this swirling around in my feeble little mind, it was time to party!

And so last weekend, when we had our school banquet, I realized it was time for a cathartic release...Me and the T-ster pre-partied it up, got there feelin real good, and basically impressed everyone with our stunning good looks and award-winning personalities. "Downtown", who had been quite nervous about having to speak infront of everyone, took to the microphone like a baby to a teet. We were off and running...

However, that weekend was also my weekend to work on my tan for the summer. But with my pasty-ass, virgin skin having little exposure to the sun, it apparently didn't take long to bake to a glowing red. Needless to say, it is 9 days later, and I am still peeling.

The moral of the story is, always wear your fucking sunscreen.

2004-04-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

A Case of the Mondays

Mondays suck, let's admit it. Unless you're some perky Mormon missionary, you probably dread them as much as I do. The movie "Office Space" capitalized on this disdain for Mondays. But every so often, a Monday will turn out to be quite an enjoyable experience. Today, however, was NOT enjoyable...

So, not only did I wake my ass up early to drive to class after having written a paper the night before, but I had to endure what was quite possibly the most cracked out lecture I've been a witness to. Our guests were both consumers and practitioners of some Eastern philosophical art therapy clinic. As they rattled on about the history of their practice, and its founder, I found myself getting gassy. Yes, the lecture induced gas. After the ridiculous history of planting vegetables and flowers in your own garden, a volunteer was selected to come to the front and choose from a variety of "organic" flowers grown in the clinic's own garden (precious). Once the flowers were selected, they would be arranged poetically (barf).

The volunteer went to the front of the class and sifted through the basket of flowers while the lecture narrated what she was doing..."She's now examining the flowers from all angles, taking in their beauty, absorbing their energy, and selecting according to the positive powers that they release." Or maybe she was just picking the prettiest, I dunno! She chose two flowers, which were then stuff in a bottle with some water, and placed on the table. Here's where I almost shit myself - the class applauded. Two fucking flowers in a bottle of water are NOT worthy of applause, people!

Can you tell that I'm bitter I woke up this Monday morning for this?

*Read the CKQ blog for notes from this day*

2004-04-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

Easter

Easter came and went. Not much fanfare. Ate way too much, and felt like a big ole dirge. It happens. I do have one very important question, though. Why do we eat ham on Easter? What did Jebus have against pigs? And where did the Bunny Rabbit come from? Apparently some church group somewhere had an "Easter Festival" where they beat and flogged the Easter Bunny. When parents complained, the church group said,"We wanted children to understand that this is a religious holiday, not a day about bunnies, baskets and chocolates." (I may have paraphrased slightly). But shit, that's harsh! I mean, I'm all for beating the hell out of innocent animals, but the Easter Bunny?!?! (BTW, PETA, I'm kidding!) It's amazing how people try to get their points across. Twisted bastards!

Anyhow, I didn't eat any ham. I am against the senseless slaughtering of such divine creatures. Instead, I loaded up on chips and guacamole, then headed home just in time to watch Sydney Bristow kick some major tail on Alias. (BTW, I know what's gonna happen in the upcoming episodes...I've figured it out!!!)

And, that was my Easter...

2004-04-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

Ugh

Waking up with a hangover sucks ass. Especially when you have to get up and be productive. And when the night of drinking has encroached on your precious sleep time, it's even more disastrous. But in the end, it's totally worth it, right?

After a stressful week, I needed to let loose last night. I wound up being on the better side of things, compared to a couple friends. One started yakking in the bathroom, and was asked by management to "get some air." So, our friend drove her home and came back for us. T-ster was hamsterdamned. But we were smart - we started drinking water, and by the time he came back for us, we were on our way to sobering up...at least I thought.

We then chowed down two slices of the best frigging pizza ever. The walk to the car wasn't bad, but the car itself was. Puke was artistically sprayed along the side and the rear window. Charming. And as if I did't get enough grease from the pizza, I downed a quesadilla once I got home.

You know, in retrospect, I wonder why I was hungover - the booze or the grease?

2004-04-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

My Dogs Are Barking...

Shit. After roughly 12 hours of walking around Magic Mountain, my feet are killing me! With that said, it was well worth it. Not only did I skip out on a bunch of crappy classes, but I got to enjoy a day full of thrills, spills, sexual innuendos, and one pikey brit. In fact, I still feel like I'm on a coaster.

The highlight was, of course, X. The ride is skidmark waiting to happen. But damn, it's well done! We also hit Goliath twice - once in the day, and once at night. The night time ride was sweet, dipping down into the dark tunnel. Wow.

But admittedly my favorite moment was after riding Scream. The ride is good - smooth, fast, lots of dips and dives...and apparently bugs too! As we were slowing down, T-ster turned to me with a big grin on her face, and I thought,"Why does she have broccoli on her tooth?" Oh, but it wasn't broccoli - it was some little bug that had flown into her mouth, and bonded to her tooth! Bloody hell!

2004-04-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Rub My Belly

Ever been to Amoeba? Ever heard of it? It's basically this music and dvd mecca. There's no simple way to state it, but it is this mammoth store with new and used CDs and DVDs. You can find just about anything and everything you want there, and if they don't have it, they'll order it for you.

Just last night I had the pleasure of going back to Amoeba. I go through phases with that place - some days I like it, some days I can't handle the bedlam. There are typically hordes of people there, and oddly enough, the lines go quickly. But last night was a good night...

I bought a compilation CD by Belly. Complete with past favs like "Feed the Tree", "Dusted" and "Now They'll Sleep", it also boasts some new B-sides and previously unreleased ditties. Another coolie about the CD is that they have a version of my favorite song, "Judas My Heart" - en francais! Yes, "Judas Mon Coeur" is awesome. "Trust In Me", one of the B-sides, is delish. Basically what I am saying is this - it rocks. And even though Belly is no longer together, this CD was DEFINITELY worth the trip to Amoeba...

2004-04-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

MFer

This is going to be a venting blog. I can't really divulge all that much info because of the hungry, hungry Hippa. So, I'll speak in generalities.

There's a certain person, we'll call this person MuthaFucka (AKA MFer), that has basically asked us to bend over backwards to accomodate him and his health needs. Needless to say, MFer FAILED to read the information given to MFer months ago, and so NOW MFer's in a time crunch to receive certain services. Because MFer has "friends", we decided to cram a 4-month service into 3 weeks. Count em, 3 shitty weeks. Is MFer grateful? Of course not! MFer is a Mother Fucker! MFer insisted on being catered to, refused to pay ANYTHING, and wanted everything MFer's way! Well, when MFer realized that EVERYTHING wasn't gonna go down like envisioned, MFer decided to play the pitifully helpless and disabled card.

MFer said,"Well, I'm worried that by going through this intensive program and having to come to you that many times each week that it will be detrimental to my health. Of course, if I don't go through the program, then I will be denied the service I need and my life will be shortened." Bla bla. I don't give two shits! We've tried to do just about EVERYTHING for you, and you're being a selfish bitch.

So, MFer, we're NOT going to coddle you. You're an intelligent person, and while you may think you'll be able to guilt us into "signing off" on you, you're wrong, asshole!

My advice to you is this: Read your disclaimer so you know what's expected of you in advance. Don't be a bitch. And especially don't be a bitch when everyone is doing all they can to help you.

Best of luck in your future endeavors, MFer.

2004-04-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

My Apologies

OK, so I know that I haven't kept up with writing here, and that's about to change. So my apologies to ALL my devoted fans (both of you).

Let's go over life in SoCal for all of you outta-staters...it's gorgeous - no, it's fucking gorgeous (like me). It's sunny, it's warm. Can't ask for much more than that...oh, except maybe to take a "personal day". So, I've decided that tomorrow is going to be the day that I get "sick" and skip out on school. Actually, the T-ster came up with the idea...Magic Mountain. I'm off to the craziness that is Six Flags...

2004-03-03T18:58:00.000-08:00

NICU

So, I've been spending a lot of time in the Neonatal and Pediatric Intensive Care Units at a well-known hospital. It's been quite an experience. Needless to say, it's pretty taxing. This will be a short entry, cuz this blog is meant to be somewhat on the sarcastic and humorous side. But, I have seen some children with some huge barriers to overcome. The odds are definitely stacked against them. And yet, I see so much potential and hope for them. It's amazing. And the parents - wow, such advocates and hard-working people. And very appreciative. When all is said and done, it's amazing how much fight can be found in such small bodies...

2004-03-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

Survivor

No, I'm not talking about Destiny Child's bootylicious song. Instead, I'm talking about one helluva good time that me and Therby planned for some of our close friends. Set in the mountains of southern cal, Survivor Snowbound was an intriguing day from the get-go. No one really knew what they were getting into, but fortunately we have some adventurous friends willing to try just about anything. We drove them up to the snow capped peaks of Mt. Pinos, and divided them into teams - the crips and the bloods. Then, they competed against each other for the ultimate reward - a gift basket full of meaningless shit. It was awesome, watching everyone knee-deep in snow, playing tug-of-war, racing up the hills tied to each other, and building tobbogan runs...In the end, there could only be one champion - Down Town. I'm sure that you'll be able to check out more information in the near future regarding Survivor at www.thebry.com
If not, then that's just a shameless plug...

2004-01-08T00:42:00.000-08:00

Blog-O-Rama

So, here are a blogs that are especially worth your time:

www.gnatterings.blogspot.com

www.thebry.com

Enjoy!

2004-01-08T00:38:00.000-08:00

Flowbee

Is that what it's called? The vacuum/haircutting system? C'mon, tell me that the concept isn't frightening! You attach something to the end of your vacuum cleaner that sucks up your hair and simultaneously cuts it, leaving no mess, and a beautiful shag haircut. Right!

I actually saw this lil device on display for sale in a citishopper magazine that was sent to my place. I cannot believe that it's still on the market. It should have died LONG before the pogoball. Long before Garbage Pail Kids. Shit, long before dinosaurs!

I beg you, don't buy the Flowbee! Unless, of course, you think mullets are cool...

2004-01-05T01:58:00.000-08:00

Ramblings

Check out my other blog at www.ckq.blogspot.com

Basically, notes between my friends and myself. Some are amusing, some won't make sense, but hell, that's my life!

Peace to all y'all.

2004-01-02T12:01:00.000-08:00

Domination

I'm totally confused. Upon returning from my trip, I found an Airborne Express envelope had been shoved under my door. This was Monday, December 29th. I openned it, and inside were two tickets to this year's Rose Bowl football game. USC vs michigan. National Title hopes and bragging rights on the line for USC. For michigan, validation of their strength as a team who had some hiccups early in the season. Here's why I am confused -

I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHO SENT ME THE TICKETS!!!

I've exhausted almost all possibilities trying to figure out who sent them. I even thought it might be an elaborate hoax, but when I got to the Rose Bowl, we had tickets in the "Michigan" endzone amongst 93,000+ fans. In any case, I'm still confused, but figure I'll give myself til the end of January to figure it out.

As for the game, USC dominated. Entering the game, they were ranked #1, and should retain that ranking for at least a share of the National Title. That will give USC it's THIRD National Title of the year (men's water polo, women's volleyball). Talk about domination!

2003-12-23T23:25:00.000-08:00

Oh Jebus!

So, the family trip to Montana has gone swimmingly - on the first day, we hit a construction area in fucking Arizona that slowed our travels. Basically, we went 50 miles in 2 1/2 hours. If you've ever seen REM's video for "Everybody Hurts", we were living it. People were walking around, standing outside, smoking pot. Good times. We finally made it to Utah, and stayed the night. The next morning, on our way out of Utah (hellish state!), it was snowing. We, of course, fishtailed bigtime on the interstate, and I thought I was gonna have "oops all berries" in my shorts. We survived, and thanks to some speedy driving by yours truly (average speed = 93mph), made it to our destination by dinner time. Tomorrow I'm going to the mall (they just got the city's FIRST escalator there last year) to do a lil window shopping. Then maybe a hike, you know, to commune with nature and shit. After that, a proper X-mas eve - margaritas, chips, salsa, and gambling at the casino...ahhhh, gotta love the holidays!

2003-12-19T21:38:00.000-08:00

Finals Are Over!

Thank Floki! Finals are over, and I can "rest". Actually, I have almost 4 weeks off. Not bad, huh? Since I am driving to Montana (Yes, Big Sky country!) tomorrow morning, I decided to go to one of my new favotire restaurants last night - La Creperie. An amazing place, they have a range of dinner crepes, breakfast crepes, and dessert crepes. I can't vouche for ALL the crepes, but the ones I've had, I've dug big time! Of course, I'm a creature of habit, and so I order the same thing - the French Riviera. It's a crepe stuff with chicken breast, cheese, artichokes, and sundried tomatoes, in a basil creme sauce. Seriously, it's the shit. And for dessert, I'd recommend the Latin Lovers crepe - a tasty concoction with bananas, nutella, and some ice cream. It's also some good shit.

Anyhow, since I have to get up at the crack of dawn to start my journey toward Montana, I'm going to doff my day clothes, don my PJs, and hit the sack. Happy Holidays!

2003-12-03T22:57:00.000-08:00

BFF

It's both a blessing and a curse being as popular as I am. I mean, dodging the paparazzi is a pain in the ass, but having hundreds of thousands of people covet your attention - it's marvelous. My fans range from housewives in Utah, dairy farmers in Wisconsin, and college professors in California. And while all of these people vie for my attention, only one person can have the title of BFF.

So let's talk about the BFF, cuz the BFF is a crack up. The other night, we were preparing to go out, and the BFF needed to take some TheraFlu(I think the BFF was already cracked out, but just wanted more drugs). In any case, I walk into the kitchen, and standing over the sink is the BFF...drinking out of an old cottage cheese container!!! What the fuck! Makes me laugh.

I'm just giving you a glimpse of my BFF, cuz I don't want you all to go out and get jealous, then get stalkerous, and then get murderous. I need to keep the BFF around, cuz it's good for my aura. But, if you're looking to get yourself a BFF, you should read about the attributes of mine, and then start your search.

If you have no idea what a BFF is, then you need one more than you know...

2003-12-02T22:02:00.000-08:00

Are Farts Funny?

Are they? I think so. In fact, most of my friends do. When I was living back in the C-Bus, we'd make a night out of fart entertainment. Lemme 'splain...

I made the VERY worthwhile purchase of a remote controlled fart machine. It cycles through 5 different fart sounds, and can be activated up to like 50 feet. The fart machine itself was about the size of a transistor radio, and the remote about the size of a small pager. So, for fun, we'd give the remote to one person, and the fart machine to another(who would hide it on his/her person) and then we'd go out...grocery stores, Ross, restaurants. The game was that the person wearing the machine never knew when he/she was going to fart. So, the trick was not to laugh.

So, here is one of my favorite escapades with "Carter the Farter". Several of us went to Ross (Dress for Less), and my friend GL had Carter in his pocket. Anyhow, as he was walking through an aisle of clothes, we activated the fart machine. Well, a woman nearby was SO appalled, that she decided to comment. With this nasty glare she said,"That's rude and it's crude!" Apparently that bitch doesn't think farting is funny!

2003-11-29T21:40:00.000-08:00

Time

"I do require alone time, otherwise I begin to miss myself." - BS

Can that be put any better? I had to quote it, because it's just so brilliant! Conceited, perhaps, but insightful nonetheless! If you don't have time to decompress (or decompose), you will start to miss yourself. Sometimes, ya just gotta get away from all the bullshit, and just be. Not worry about others, not owe anyone a call, an explanation, or the time of day. Not owe anyone anything.

So, that's what I am doing - spending time with me. Avoid all the crap, and just chill out, eat what I want, wear what I want, shower IF I want...and to be honest, I haven't wanted to today! Now I think I'll watch a movie

2003-11-25T17:55:00.000-08:00

Heat

So, last thursday, my friggin heater went out. Damn pilot light. And the gas company apparently has employed the newest string of mental midgets, because when I called to have someone come out to light it, they gave me the oh-so-convenient window of "Saturday, between 7am and 8pm". I was like,"Listen bitch, I have a life." So, she suggested leaving the key somewhere. I said I would tape it behind the welcome sign on my door. Keep in mind, I live in a 12-unit apartment building, and there's a front door, and then MY door. Well, the fucknut must have come JUST to the front door (which was open) and didn't see a welcome sign, so he bailed. Of course, he left a note that he had been there, and then the notes in the computer indicated that "Key was note left as per instructions". Now, I know I live in California, but it's been getting really cold at night. And I don't wanna freeze my ass off. When I called the gas company back, the earliest someone could come in is TWO GODDAMN WEEKS! Being the ghetto master that I am, I have been heating my apartment by cranking the oven up to about 550 degrees, and leaving the door cracked open. The kitchen gets nice and warm, and the living room heats up soon after. It's great. So adaptive! Will this cost me a lot? Hell no! I don't pay my gas bill, the landlord does! Screw em all! Happy Holidays.....

2003-11-20T17:06:00.000-08:00

Crack is good...

I just looked at my schedule for October and November, and I have come to the conclusion that I must have been totally cracked out to think I could handle all this shizzie. Working three jobs, on top of taking 18 units in a graduate program tabbed as #1 in its field, well, it's a lil taxing. Therefore, I am setting this goal for myself - to survive the next 6 days, to make it to Thanksgiving, where I can do laundry for free, eat a shitload of food, get fat, get drunk, and pass out without worrying about studying or working or waking up early to move my damn car...

2003-11-13T15:37:00.000-08:00

The Weasel

So, my old boss is this manipulative little bitch, who will circle around any issue and anyone, just to avoid conflict. For example, if she wants someone to do something, she'll tell everyone else, and let the information trickle down. It's bullshit. She basically has a few henchmen that do her dirty work for her.

The latest in this saga is happening as we speak. I left that site, and transferred to another a few weeks ago, but was asked if they could still call me to fill in for certain people if need be. I said that it wouldn't be a problem at all. Well, they never asked for my keys, and I assumed it was because they anticipated me coming back to work on occassion. Apparently, not the case. They've now been hounding my friend from work(who works in the department) to get the keys from me. BULLSHIT! If the bitch wants the keys, she's gonna have to ask for them! She CLAIMS she's left messages, but guess what! None on my machine! Not to mention she can still email me, because I'm still working for the same company! Dumb fucking whore, I tell ya! I'm annoyed that she's lying, AND she's putting my friend in the middle of it. I plan on calling her on it, very subtley. Cuz she's a dumb bitch, she probably won't get it. We'll see...

2003-11-12T14:50:00.000-08:00

The Stupidity of Man...

I hate stupid people. I mean, come on people, let's think for a moment before we open our fucking mouths. Just as an example, someone in a lecture today, raised their hand, was called upon, and said,"I have a question." No shit, why else would you have your hand waving in the air while someone was lecturing!

Ugh...

2003-11-08T11:24:00.000-08:00

Kim Splitsters...

So, thanks to a stellar ergonomic evaluation, I was offered some kick-ass tickets to the season-ending WTA championships at the Staples Center. When I say "kick-ass" I mean I coulda spit on the court. Yeah, we were that close. The first two matches were pretty uneventful, but the third match was intense. Three sets, full of some long rallies, and also displaying Kim Clijsters' unnatural flexibility. That chick runs, skids, slides, splits, contorts...it's not right.

Afterward, we grabbed a drink, only to realize it was probably time to head home. My dumbass, of course, locked my keys in my apartment. Fortunately, I have some hidden away just in case of such a circumstance. Thank goodness I have prepared in advance for my retardation...

2003-11-06T17:54:00.000-08:00

Once again, it's good to be me.

Today I was given four tickets to the season-ending WTA championships, each with a price-tag of $100. Nice, huh? In addition, I was given some CDs. All for showing up and helping with an ergonomic evaluation.

Completely switching gears, I want to tell you all a story. A story that my friend DD, a fellow drop-dead-gorgeous snob, would greatly appreciate. It's the story of Floki Rafna. Who is Floki Rafna? Many have wondered, but few really know. Is Floki Rafna the first woman to burn her bra in protest? Is Floki Rafna the viking explorer that discovered Iceland? Is Floki Rafna the inventor of the marshmallow?

To be honest, who gives a shit who the real Floki Rafna is! The important thing is that you celebrate Floki for the entire weekend in September, also known as Labor Day. Drink beer, eat marshmallows, and enjoy the musings of JoDee Messina's "That's the way it goes". That's the real Floki...

2003-11-05T18:15:00.000-08:00

After a GREAT trip to Vegas, I'm now back in the city of angels, and spending my week with people with a variety of hand injuries. Today I sat in on two surgeries - a debridement of an epidermal inclusion cyst, and then a trigger finger release. Both were cool, although the first was pretty nasty - hearing someone scrape out bone in the tip of a finger is downright torturous.

For some, this prolly sounds gross, but for me, it's good fun. A lot better than peeling carrots all day, or walking in the rain to a restaurant that has been closed for over a year...

2003-11-05T18:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that it must suck for people who, unlike me, aren't gorgeous and don't dominate in all that they do...

2003-10-30T17:17:00.000-08:00

E.D.

So, playing hooky is supposed to be fun, right? Well, apparently it can be JUST as much fun for those who don't skip class! I decided to take a "personal day" today and get all my crap done, check the road conditions, pack, catch up on sleep, bla bla bla. Knowing full-well that I would be ditching class today, I called one of my friends to let her know, and to see if she was going to be heading to class(she had been contemplating skipping as well)...

Turns out she DID go to class, and she told the professor that I couldn't make it to class today because I "went to Popeye's chicken, and now has a bad case of diarrhea." The professor grimaced and said that that was probably more info than she needed, while another friend chimed in,"Apparently it's pretty explosive."

So, yes, I missed class today because of explosive diarrhea.

2003-10-29T15:05:00.000-08:00

Las Vegas

So, apparently I'm headed to Vegas in the next 36-48 hours...However, with all the fires and freeway closures, I'm not entirely sure how the hell I'm supposed to get there. Of course, everyone has an idea and an opinion. For the love of web-footed whores, if I wanted your opinion, I'd give ya one. Needless to say, I've been spending way too much time online looking at traffic reports to see what routes are still open. I mean, all I REALLY want to do is mentally check out, hit vegas, have a few(dozen) drinks, and piss myself while I sleep...is it too much to ask?